34. Towards that figure
『“I’ve already prepared the place.”』
Well, I did say I would ‘do something about it’? But, you see… what I mean is in the family meeting kind of meaning, you know? I mean, I never thought that I’ll go to face my Sis from now on, you know? Even if it’s for her sake, I need to mentally prepare myself as well…
And, didn’t you told me that she was crying?… I can’t believe it, you know… After all, we’re talking about that elder sister of mine you know? She might says,『”Wataru? Of course he’s not popular. I guess ‘Sajou’ family will end with this generation』, without showing any human blood nor cry, and then procced to ask me to go buy ‘Häagen’ ice cream for her. I mean, did you say the truth, Yuuki-senpai?….. Heaven and earth would not twist around soon…. right?
According to Yuuki-senpai, she was up on the rooftop. He had used a random reason to send her there. The rooftop could be opened with the special right of the student council after all.
Well, he said he joined arms with Hanawa-senpai, Kai-senpai and… Hmm? Todoroki-senpai too? That person, does he even understand human nature good enough to be able to treat women like ladies?
My sighs wouldn’t stop.
This development was far too quick and abrupt.
Meeting her is one thing but, talking about something serious like this has the back of my head all itchy.
It was my first time to ever walked up the stairs on the third floor. It was almost dusty. Because the time of the day, my surroundings was fairly dark and silent.
Normally students would only go up to the rooftop during their graduation. And yet, I found traces of someone who had already gotten ahead of me.
Even, if it was my insolent elder sister… we’re family after all, I don’t want to see her crying face. Normally this isn’t something a high school student my age should experience, right? Just by imagining it, I feel all gloomy.
───That’s why, hearing about Sis crying somewhere I don’t even know of, there’s no way I can stay silent about it, isn’t it?…
I opened up the rusty door. The creaky sound had me feel oddly agitated. My head was full of doubts and questions.
Why am I here this late despite not in any club? Why did the situation turn out like this? Why am I heading up to the rooftop that I planned to see only once during my graduation? Why did things end up so out of the norm like this?
───Everything, I’ll just ask my Sis, who has some strange hidden personality that I don’t know.
Right on the rooftop, stood there was my Sis with her usual tired-looking face.
I called out to her.
She looked at me in shock and took a step back.
“Huh…? Why Wataru is here…? Renji said, that Rin was calling for me.”
R-Rin…? Is she talking about that ‘Rin Shinomiya’…..? Wait a minute, they know each other…? Ah, now that I think about it, they’re Student Council Vice-President and Discipline Committee President, so it’s not strange for them not to know each other.
What a skilled way to call my Sis here, it’s very much like Hanawa-senpai. Well, he looks like a guy who is good at this… I wish he failed…
“Well, that’s because Senpai was lying. Anyway, Sis. I heard you were crying?”
I didn’t think any unnecessary preamble was needed. I wanted to get things over as soon as possible after all. But, when I did just that, she spaced out for a moment, stared at me in confusion and stagger backwards.
This reaction…it seems Yuuki-senpai wasn’t lying…
“The dear student council president told me about this with his loose tongue. Well, I feel like you’ll feel more guilty if I just leave this matter alone.”
Her younger brother found out that she was crying. I wonder what she’s feeling right now. Since she always acting tough, perhaps she won’t acknowledge it in honesty. But, that doesn’t mean I’d just go along with that like usual.
“Say, Sis…….. what are the good things about me? Ten ─── No, five is more than enough. Please say it.”
“Huh…? Suddenly, what do── good things…”
“I mean it exactly as I said it. The good things about me. If you were so worried about me enough to cry, you could say it right.”
Compared to her usual broad and confident attitude, now she was stumbling over her own words, which left even me surprised.
Aaaa…..I’m scared of what will come later.
Sis… she was counting her fingers while moving her line of sight over the place. It was clear that she was desperately thinking about something.
I was aware of this from the very beginning, and if she couldn’t find any then that was totally fine, but I would ask why she thought so.
“Enough, I get it.”
“W-Wait a minute… This… you’re wrong…!”
“Then, next. Tell me ten points that are normal about me.”
“Eh…?! Ah, Ummm ───”
I’m not trying to test her or anything. I just want to know the reason.
She’s worried about me…? Worried that she’s the reason why I gave up on the girl I love? I wasn’t even feeling that way, so don’t just get the wrong idea, okay? More than anything, that’s not like you, Sis.
“─── Y-Your face!”
“─── Height! Personality! Physique! Cleverness! Wealth!”
“─── Hairstyle! Fashion sense! Stamina! Cleanliness! Scent! Humour! Charm as younger brother!”
“─── STR! DEF! SPD! DEX! LUK!”
“Oi, that’s not fair you know…? Sto…. Enough, Enough already! Stop! Please stop…!”
Wait… Wasn’t that close to twenty? I didn’t ask for that many, though? Also, that later half, I don’t know how these stats would be of help. What? does she always think in terms of battle statuses in everyday life? Are you from the Warrior Race?!
I frantically stopped Sis, only for her to start gasping for air.
Huh…? Is my normality unlimited? Is it that exhausting?
“See….. you thought the same way as I do. That I’m just a normal guy.”
“Yeah, that’s right. I am just a normal guy. That’s a reality that I accepted myself. And that reality, is what you and Mom always taught me, right? I didn’t say that what you said is wrong. So, you don’t have to worry about it at all.”
“It’s true that I gave up on a lot of things. But, that’s not because you or Mom. I just saw my shitty stupid face in the mirror, and even if I hate to admit it, I realized what kind of person I am, that’s all.”
Ashamed to say this… but that’s reality. This is just an incident where I got heated up by myself and, got cooled down by myself. So, I don’t see any reason for her to be bothered by that, and I don’t need any worrying from her.
“…I was shocked.”
“On the outside, they said they’d give up on the person they liked, but the truth is they couldn’t do that. There was a student who got frustrated because of that. That’s why, I was worried that you might become like that person too. And, I started thinking that perhaps I did something really terrible to you…”
“…The heck is that?”
Then, what? Did everything I said so far only sound like a facade? Even the things I said in front of Natsukawa herself, or in the Student Council Room? Did she thought that I still can’t get over from Natsukawa yet, and deep in my heart unable to forget about her and act like a crying baby?
… Hah. Aren’t you still the same as always, Sis?
“Seriously… the heck are you saying. In the first place, I’m not trying to forget her. I still like her now, and I’m still stupid enough who think, ‘If there is a chance then I will go for it’. Just, you know… As expected, I’m just a normal guy. So, I needed to at least be aware of that…”
“B-But, the reason you feel that way…as expected, it because I said too muc…!”
If you’re aware of it, why couldn’t you just stop?
Why are you even regretting it now, seriously this girl…. What do you want me to do? Will you feel better if I buy some steamed buns for you? Alright, in the convenience store, from the first to the last row, I’ll buy their entire stock…! Will two thousand yen be enough…?
“As I said already, that’s not ───”
“I often talk badly about you, but I’m not serious at all. Be a bit more confident. Even if you’re aware of being ‘normal’, that doesn’t mean you should just give up on the girl you loved all these years.”
She sounded like she was trying to persuade me. Just when I was wondering what she might say, she started saying nonsense to run from it. But, it was too late… it sounded like excuses.
Huh…? What’s up with that? Why is she saying that now? Isn’t it a bit too late already? I thought I already explained to her that she’s not even wrong. Even so, why she’s denying it now? Seriously, all that embarrassing stuff before, what is it for then?
“That hmm… I’ll fix myself. I won’t make fun of you anymore, and I’ll stop saying something unreasonable. So, there’s no need to look down on yourself like ────”
“Will you give it a rest already, ‘You damn bitch’.”
I don’t think I was ever this pissed off like this before.
If I was forced to stay silent any longer than that, I might have gone for her throat.
“Fix? Fix for what? Just because you stop insulting me and stop being violent, do you think I am going to be more confident?”
“That’s not wha…!”
“Do you even want to reflect on it? What? Become a kind elder sister now? Who is that? I never had a ‘Beautiful’ elder sister who was kind to me.”
The relationship we built up until now… It’s true that she might have been harsh towards me, but that was satisfying in itself. It’s because none other than, ‘we are siblings’. A relationship where we don’t need to be reserved or to be considerate with each other, where we can feel at ease with each other… And now, you’re saying that you’ll destroy all of that? Stop fucking with me.