I think that perhaps, it’s better without me Italicizing the paragraph that I think it’s his thoughts…
So yeah, sorry for this…
33. Sibling’s feelings, both unaware
The qualities required to be the Student Council President…That is to have common sense. But, no matter if Yuuki-senpai is a person who have common-sense, his height and face are not common, so he is not suitable to be the Student Council President….. I’m sorry, that was a lie. Thank you very much for not hating my elder sister.
On the 3rd floor, there was a connecting passage which connecting two buildings. There was a ceiling, but both sides were open.
Faintly, I could feel a south wind caressed my cheeks. But since, we were in the shade, it was not warm or anything.
Looking down from the handrail on my right, I could see the students walking back home. The students who were freed from school had only happy faces.
“Sorry to suddenly call you over like that, Wataru.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it…”
More than that, I can’t believe that even his choice of location is perfect… Can’t you learn a bit from him, Shinomiya-senpai? Please, take a lesson from Yuuki-senpai and gain some common sense… Oh dear… there’s love in the air.
“So…? Is it about helping for work again?”
“Well, I couldn’t ask for anything better than that, but… the main subject is different.”
A cultural festival executive committee will be created to prepare for the cultural festival, and the preparation will be led by them. It seems that the Student Council is now preparing for the summer vacation. Well, there is many letters such as “Fall” and “October” in the document when I helped the works at Student Council… seems like there are still many jobs.
Aside from that, what he needs from me? I can’t think with my abilities now, I could be any help to Yuuki-senpai, who covers almost everything.
“Hey, Wataru… what do you think of yourself?”
“… What? Me? About ‘Myself’? Something like introspection?”
Huh, what kind of question is that…Why would you ask something like that? Am I being tested in something? Will you pull me into the Student Council depending on my answer?… No thanks.
“Hmm… From an objective point of view, I feel like I’m pretty normal. There’s nothing worthy to mention that it makes me want to cry.”
Seeing Yuuki-senpai’s expression, I let out a faint smile. But then, he took a step back, and observed my entire body, from head to toe.
Um… can’t you sympathize with me even just a little? In addition you’re scaring me, somehow it makes me want to cry even more.
Don’t just ‘I see’ me. I mean, what are you just calmly analyzing? A normal person like me, they realize it themselves. But when we got told from someone who is much better and more handsome, it’s annoying. We’re weird living beings, okay? We’re creatures!
“But, I heard that you were quite passionate about a certain girl for many years.”
“Just forget that already.”
I couldn’t stand it so the words that I didn’t want to say came out.
This b**tard… I had been told about that so many times that I was already writhing in agony.
Now, you make me feel like I want to jump out of here…
But, who did you hear it fro….. I’m sure it’s my elder sister, no matter what I think, there’s no one else but her. I wonder why she talks about her younger brother’s love affairs… Seriously, she’s just…
“Why did you give up?”
“There’s no reason for me to tell you.”
“… I see.”
You’re meddling too much you know?
Yuuki-senpai backed down quietly when I warned him like that. It seemed that he never really had any intention of questioning me too much. Why even asked that in the first place then?
As expected of A Cool Handsome Man, they have the tendency to be bad at talking.
“Anyway… it seems like you went through some change lately…”
“Well, that is… true. I was just thinking about this and that. More than change, I just stopped doing unnecessary things.”
“The reason… I won’t ask for it, but does Kaede know?”
I…don’t think she does. She must have seen the exchange I had with Natsukawa at our home, but I never talked to her about my own change of feelings. I mean, considering how embarrassing it is, it’s not like I could talk about this with anyone. She would just make fun of me for that, so definitely, I can’t tell her.
“From the looks of it, you… haven’t talked to her about it.”
“She is probably the person who cares the least about me in this entire world. You saw how she treated me right? was she ever act like that towards you, Senpai?”
“Never… But, yeah, that was something else.”
“Then there’s no need for me to talk about it.”
O,Ooohh…Yuuki-senpai made a faint smile. It shines so bright, even me who is a boy, fascinated by it. But when I see it now, I feel that stalker lady who is like a bad person, is not compatible with Yuuki-senpai. Oh, please go for some American celebrity out there if you got the chance.
“But, I’m sure it’s not the least in the entire world. After all, your change has left her bewildered.”
“Huh…? Did She?”
Oh right, I feel like Kai-senpai said something about this. I think it was related to me entering puberty, but I didn’t really care about that, so I didn’t remember what he said. Still, I’m sure her iron mentality can’t be moved easily, right? Right.
“You might feel like it isn’t a bad change, but when we heard about it from Kaede, we felt differently. Especially about the part of giving up on the person you loved all this time.”
“So that sister of mine even told you about that huh…”
“Don’t be like that, Kaede was asking us for advice.”
Well, with all the information she had… Perhaps, I might be seen as someone who started self-loathing who he was, lost confidence in himself, and quit going after the person he loved.
…Wait, it’s not all wrong, isn’t it? I just stopped chasing after Natsukawa because I started hating myself who keeps doing that. But, I’m not that pessimistic, it’s also for myself too, to move forward. So, I’m doing that with a positive mindset….
“Kaede thinks, that a big reason for your change lies within herself. She’s worried that she might have destroyed her younger brother’s youth with her own hands.”
I remember now. Kai-senpai said something similar. Back then, I just treated it as a joke and didn’t think about it much, but now when Yuuki-senpai is the one who said it, somehow the words mean different… Sis, it’s too ‘heavy’ you know, are you serious with that?
“Kaede definitely feels a certain level of guilt. We tried to cheer up, but…when she heard it from your own mouth, Kaede’s attitude changed entirely.”
“Didn’t you explain clearly how both Kaede and your dear mother always said something that makes you feel like ‘This is the level you are at’…..?”
…..It, it’s not like totally forgot that…What I was trying to say at that time is that I accepted those teachings, and wanted to reflect on them. I mean, both her and Mom weren’t wrong when they said that.
“That day was the first time we saw Kaede cry.”
“…! Wha–, are you serious…?!”
“From the sounds of it, it seems you don’t feel too dissatisfied with your current situation?”
“Huhf…. If anything, I feel like I’ve started to act how I truly am, with a befitting mindset, I’m finally live on without feeling ashamed of myself…”
That day when I said that must have been on Friday. That explains why she didn’t talk to me all throughout the weekend. I don’t think I even saw her those two days. So basically, she was avoiding me, huh?
Then, I somehow understood the reason why Yuuki-senpai said, ‘you’ with a strong tone. At first, I thought that he is trying to be over-friendly, I even wonder if he just does that as if to imitate how my elder sister calls me… Don’t you love my elder sister a bit too much, senpai?
“…I understand. Since this is a problem between us, I’ll try to deal with it. Just, tell me one thing.”
“What is it?”
“The reason you told me about this. Is it because you don’t want my Sis to be sad? Or… is it because you’re angry at me for making her sad?”
Yuuki-senpai started thinking about it. I felt like my question was something quite troublesome to answer, but he didn’t take long to give me a straight answer.
“On top of all that, it’s for myself.”
The Student Council President has to be calm at any given moment. In other words, he has to be a human being who understands even vulgar intentions and feelings of the students beneath him. I thought that Yuuki-senpai was just a naïve handsome man who was more up in his dreams and betting on hope, but it seems like even he can get heated about certain things like normal people.
“…Senpai, you are aware of your own looks, right?”
“This led to me to get carried away and had a terrible experience. I got down because of that… the one who saved me from that was your older sister.”
What the heck is that? That sounds like something that came out of some school dramas.
Author’s note : Seriously?