35-2. In the meantime, Let’s think about what to do (Part 2)
“I know that you’re strong, but I want you to have a little more consideration for the elderly.”
“What are you saying? Grandpa Kara is an expert with skilled hands. If I face him half-heartedly, I would just fall into His strategy.”
“I think you can just thought it as a train when you’re brought to the opponent’s pace.”
Grandpa Kara’ technique is to finish with a single blow. It’s too pitiful that he couldn’t show off his true skill. I could only holding my hands together toward the Grandpa Kara who was carried by Grandpa Bol.
“Then… that… with this, can’t it clearly prove which one is better?”
I see, so that’s what she aim? I have come to understand what Grandpa Kara said to me. This, this needs to be resolved as soon as possible.
“Do you care about what I said about Grandpa Kara was the best if it’s just about personality? What I mean by that is, that when thinking about strategies, it’s easier to build it with him, though?”
“….What do you mean?”
“If you’ve seen it a few times, you must know what I mean too. I’m not fighter so I like to make strategy that you could put someone in almost every situation. And Grandpa Kara could always has a clear role and a sense of stability. It’s just fascinating to have skill that can be used to put an end to the battle in the critical moment.”
“Then what about me?”
“You’re too strong. Like a foul technique that makes the battle situation advantageous just by placing you in it.”
Grandpa Kara is like a lance or knight in shogi. It is an important piece in hunting down the opponent that can lead to the checkmate.
On the other hand, Illias is a foul piece that could runs around endlessly like the mix of the rook and bishop, and if it is to be stepped on, it will take the opponent’s piece instead.
“So, you’re evaluating it?”
“If it’s about reliability, you’re number one. I don’t know about Lord Ragdo’s ability, but I’ve seen Illias’s strength many times.”
“Is, is that so? But I still feel that you dissatisfied with me…”
“If I just want to be protected, I don’t have to worry if it’s Illias. However, in the image I had, I just thought of it as someone who would assist me in my actions in the future. If it’s you, you are just gonna do a one-sided negotiation with the other parties and in the end use your trump card to defeat that other parties, maybe you feel good when doing that?”
“Mmm, that’s …”
“Of course, that’s not the case if the future of the people is at stake or if the situation in the country is involved. At that kind of time, there’s no much choice you can take.”
At first I tried to overtake Illias, but … that is that, and this is this.
“But in any case, relying on Illias will only make me depended on you too much. Even if it is good to do rely on Illias moderately, it is not good for me, If I want to live in this world, I can’t keep relying on you. It’s not a bad thing, It’s too good.”
“Uh, yeah, right. I certainly want you to rely on me, but just relying on me on everything won’t be a good thing for you too…”
“Even in our current relationship, I’m already depended a lot on you. I’m worried if I’m continue like this, without me noticing it, I’ll started to mix this situation to my daily live forever.”
I place my hand on Illias head. This is the type of thing that can’t be communicated unless you say it firmly. It’s embarrassing, but if I don’t say it, Grandpa Kara will always be in trouble.
“Illias, I don’t want you to be the cause of me becoming useless. But if what I did makes you feel sad I’ll apologize, I’m sorry.”
“… I see. No, no, I also…. I’ll go to apologize to Grandpa Kara.”
With that said, Illias returned to the treatment facility. Hmm, with this, everything wil be fine right?
“Wolfe, do you think what I said just now is good?”
Even if you can understand the emotion that is exposed by the face, you cannot fully understand what is inside the heart.
I feel that there are many minor gaps in the way of thinking between me and Illias. Both of us want a good relationship with each other, but there may be a difference in what we are looking for. That’s why, it makes me want to ask a third party opinion.
“Hmm, Grandpa Kara deserve that!”
“Isn’t it about time to make up with him already…”
“I’ll, consider it!”
“Who taught you that…..Oh, right, I taught you that.”
Especially, I often use it in front of Illias. In the literal sense, it indicates the intention to move in the desired direction of other party as much as you can. However, in reality, it’s a classic way of refusal …
“Wolfe also wants to be told like what Shisho said to Illias.”
“I’m counting on Wolfe, even though it’s not as much as Illias.”
“I want it to be the same.”
Illias in her armor
Wolfe is also growing. And she’s starting to have greed. Desire is a vital factor to people’s lives. It is preferable for Wolfe to have her own desire.
But, if you become too greedy, you will not be able to see the surroundings and it will have an adverse effect on others too, but at the stage of Wolfe right now, there’s no need to apply such a brake yet. So, Let’s make her want to have as much greed as she want.
“I see, you can’t do it right away. But, do your best.”
“Oh, but you can’t always resort to violence, okay? It’s a promise with your master.”
“I’ll, consider it!”
I have begun seriously think that I really understood the standard of how to use the speak in here.
However, when I am interacting with Illias, I feel that even more. That She is not very good at communicating with others. No, it’s possible ‘that someone’ (me) just hard to be understood, but even so that’s not an excuse.
She lost her parents when she was young, and the surrounding area is full of elderly people. She is estranged from knights of the near age and sometimes has no one who seem to be friends. Then, it’s no wonder that she’s not good at communication.
I’m not so high in communication skills, but at least I could do a good response. Or, that’s what I want to believe.
After all, I think I should proceed with the example plan here. Be prepared, Illias.
◇ [Change POV] ◇
After parting from him, I go to see what Grandpa Kara is doing. He is lying down on the bed, and a Magic Stone that gives off magical power to relieve pain is placed on his back.
The treatment has already been completed, but the pain is not completely relieved. This is a measure for that.
“Why didn’t Illias go home with that Kid?”
“Well, I came back thinking that I hadn’t apologized to Grandpa Kara. I was driven by my personal feelings and made you suffer… I’m sorry.”
“FaFafah! From how you look right now, it seems that the Kid said something to you. Don’t worry too much, I knew the situation. Even me, I’ll do the same thing like you when I see it from the standpoint of a knight.”
So, when they were talking in secret at that time, he was telling the situation? And Grandpa Kara dare to take the game even after understanding my feelings? He could have just given up by saying so though… I’m ashamed of my shallowness.
“Don’t look like that. I’m the one who lost and suffered. Or do you want to take over my position right now too?”
“No, that’s not the case…”
“From my point of view, I’m glad that you’re stubborn to wanting to be evaluated by that Kid.”
“Stubborn, huh…that might be true.”
Certainly, since I met him, I am aware that I have a desire to rely on him and a desire to protect him. But this time too, when he thought that I was inferior to Grandpa Kara, so I couldn’t control myself.
“But when he cheer for me there, I thought that the Kid did something heartless. And, because of that, I’m almost die.”
“Really, I’m sorry….”
While the cheering voice echoed, I became more hot-headed when I heard that his voice was directed to Grandpa Kara instead of me. Even though I said it was just a sparring match, I acted as if it was a real battle.
It’s good that I’m still inexperienced. But I don’t know why I became like that.
“In that situation, you don’t know why you’re obsessed with the Kid, right? If you want to know, I can tell you.”
“Do you know what it is? If so, I definitely want you to tell me.”
“It’s called Love.”
“Grandpa Kara, that hip that breaks frequently is just a hindrance, right? But once it’s completely broken, isn’t it’ll be better?”
“Wait, I’m kidding, Don’t hold your sword!”
Good grief, even though people are really being troubled here.
“You see, I have a wife and children, Something like Love, even I, can understand it. But, it seems the feeling that you have for the Kid id not to that point yet, it’s different….”
“And… That is?”
“It’s close to the feeling of longing. As I said earlier, it’s a different thing from your longing to your father’s as a knight. It’s a longing for someone who has something you can’t have. Hmm, That longing to become a knight like your father. You can’t reach it now, but I’m sure you’ll reach it someday. But, it’s different longing that you have to that Kid, that has a fundamentally different way of life from the way a knight lives.”
“What I can’t have…”
“If it’s necessary, He’ll choose to understand the heart of evil. He is willing to walk that way. It’s a strength different from the spirit of a knight.”
Yes, his way of life is quite different from that of the knight that I believe in. At least I don’t think I’m going that way. But he does not hesitate to go that way.
But does that mean that I has a longing for his way of life that the outside of my way?
“Don’t be in conflict with yourself right away. Your chivalry spirit is real and I’ll guarantee that. You’re not longing for the different way. You’re not longing for the determination to go on that way either. It can be said that, you’re longing to be someone who can stand in both way.”
“Can you talk a little more easier to understand…”
“Could you go on the evil path while still embracing the current chivalry?”
“That’s… I can’t do it. I shouldn’t be able to do it. “
“That’s right. If you do that, it’s no longer chivalry. But that Kid can understand both, chivalry and evil path. He can do things that you can’t do. You feel the gaps and start to long for it.”
I was afraid to go on the wrong path. I knew it was a way where I couldn’t go back. But he calmly sways between the road here and there.
Certainly it is not something that can be imitated. Do you say that I have feelings that are close to longing that?
“In short, you want to be recognized by that Kid who is doing what you can’t do.”
“That’s… Right, I think so.”
I want him to rely on me, I want to be considered the best, after all I want him to recognize me.
I want to be recognized by him because he can do what I can’t do.
“Is it because of my immaturity after all?”
“Don’t fell so sorry for yourself. Even me, I’m happy to be evaluated high by that Kid. That’s why I really respond to your game with all my might.”
“Even Grandpa Kara, do you also think like that?”
“It’s not just the Kid who can do what you can’t do. For example… Isn’t that also the case with His Majesty, too?”
Certainly, unlike a knight who holds a sword and fights, His Majesty is leading the country. That’s something I can’t do. That is why I recognize that it is a better honor to be recognized by His Majesty.
“Because you’ve only met knights until now. And suddenly, that Kid appeared as a familiar presence. You’re in a position where it’s easy for you to be recognize him. So, it’s natural to have the desire for it, and it’s not a bad thing for you now.”
For me, who is immature, His Majesty is still far away. I’ve heard that I have been recognized for my abilities, but I only get a vague feeling from it. It will be a long way off to be recognized in the true sense of the word.
In that respect, he, who is being right next to His Majesty and getting his approval, can fell that feeling better than me. Maybe, it is easier to be aware of a near goal than a distant goal.
“… Thank you, I’ve been able to organize my mind in various ways.”
“It seems that the relationship in a sense of between men and women has hardly progressed.”
“Do you still saying that kind of thing?”
“After all you’re a beautiful woman, so if you have that kind of feeling toward that Kid, it’s not strange at all.”
Unfortunately, I don’t feel such a sign. He always treat me as violent person, and he said that I’m just a hassle. Even Wolfe, who is beautiful even from my perspective, he just act like a father to her0…… Hmm? Why did I said unfortunately?
“It seems like ‘that guy’ likes someone older. I think someone at my age is out of his range.”
“In that case, is it around that beauty from Yugura Religion?”
Lacra? What he think about Lacra, I wonder? Sure, it seems that they are in tune, but as for the relationship between men and women….. No, that treatment is not for women.
There was a story that Lacra used Charm Magic to him at first, but that was just to get information… However, in a sense, I wonder if it’s okay to see them as close friends? But, from the bottom of his heart, he didn’t like to living together with her…
“I don’t see him treating her as a woman.”
“In that case, I wonder if it’s someone older around Maya.”
Maya, her age is close to my mother. In the case about the book recently, he kept a distance from her, but when I think about it, there was an atmosphere that seemed like they’re a good friends from the beginning.
His way of dealing with Maya is very mild and his tone is polite. I see, maybe that’s the case..
“I see…. Well, do your best then.”
“What do you mean by, do your best, huh?”
“That, that’s of course, if that Kid really prefers an older woman who is far away in age, his evaluation of the younger one might be quite low.”
“Ri-right… I’ve had a handicap for men and women, but this is the first time I’ve had a handicap at an age.”
He appreciates me, but his usual attitude to me is cold. In other words, is that really the case?
Finally, I can almost see the conclusion. However, once I know it, I feel like trying various things to him.
“Okay, I’ve got a lot of vitality.”
“Um, I think I gave a fatal misunderstanding… Well, yeah. Just don’t forget, but that Kid also have a longing for something in you. Don’t forget that.”
“What, what is that?”
“You can’t run on the different way because you hold the chivalry firmly. It’s good to understand that it’s something that Kid can’t do.”
“Is that the case …”
He also the same as me, is attracted to having things that each other can’t have. Is it okay to think like that?
“However, for that Kid in a sense of respects someone as a knight, I’m better than you. So, it depends on your dedication.”
There is nothing weird about it. Grandpa Kara is a veteran knight, and I’m still an inexperienced knight.
“Still, remember that you’re also a knight, you should always be proud of it.”
“Yes, I understand.”